So 25 days ago I received a visit from the local constabulary to tell me that the man I have loved for almost a decade had in her words "passed away" . So where does that leave me ? I have no idea, there is this word that is supposed to descibe where my life resides today GRIEF.Well what the hell is that no one can explain it to me adequetly. The words I read about grief have no equality to what I am experiencing.

The reality is that no one gets it no one, there is sympathy in bucket loads, food (what is that need to feed me about), allowences for my behaviour and those horrid looks I get off people at their discomfort to my pain.

As I try to negociate this place in my life I am going to try and write as honesty and anonymously as possible to find and outlet maybe ....I am not sure but this is my life today I just dont know