Stop all the Clocks

In this past 24 hours I have been contacted by a few new people who are only just learning that my darling G died 4 weeks and 6 days ago. So bizare to be having  this discussion again now, didn't the rest of the world feel that slamming earth jolt on Sunday 29/5/2011? While I understand that my world is so tiny in comparison to the universe. 34 dyas ago ther planet stopped spinning for me with the harshest shuddering slamming halt. Why couldn't you feel that? What was that day for you?

On this day what else happened out there? I am sure there were weddings, birthday parties, new souls born, sports games won and lost,injuries sustained ,first steps taken, people on first dates, photos taken, art created, pregnacies announced, all in all life went on as it does and is supposed to. But also I great loss was made, one of the most incredibly gentle generous souls I was ever to meet left us.

 Sunday 29th May 2011 etched into my spirit deep, gouging wound carved into my psyche. How many Sundays do we live how do we describe them. This sunny autumn Sunday for me what are the words I will use, horrid, shocking, stunning, slamming, awful, scarring, appalling, distressful, sad, abhorrent, ugly, painful, life altering, unpleasant  unacceptable, reprehensible well you get the general idea.

As always there is someone who can write the words better than I, hence a poem from Wynstan Auden, for me it says it all .

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good