Shadow

I feel like a shadow. As a noun is mean a dark outline cause be the interception of light, as verb it is to cover with darkness. either way it seem appropriate way to describe me.

I am an outline of my own self bereft of all there once was to pad out my life. As I move about out there, I am flat,dark, introspective while you may think I accompany you, is spirit I am somewhere else. Consumed by my own thoughts and ideas that are tumbling around overlapping themselves, trying to catch them and hold on is akin to juggling jelly. All I seem to cling to are fragment of what a an hour ago was obsessive. Last night as I appeared to be listening to your banter and laughter tonight I have very little idea of what was discussed even though I tried hard to participate.

Tink is a relic of the social being from not so long ago. Tiring easily, fidgety and restless struggling to stay in any one moment. Longing to be alone again, being afraid of amongst you and only seeing how everything is different, wondering is there any part of my life that is untouched by the change. Can anything really be this all encompassing or is this the ultimate in self indulgence?

When the shadow of death blots out my joy
And erases the face of the sun
Give me strength to endure, hope to believe
That living and dying are one, William L Wallace