I wish I did not care what you say or think....I wish I was a hard arse. But I am not, and I sting. Do you think I wanted this, pain and confusion. I am trying to find my way through this turmoil, and sometimes I need to hear I am doing OK at it. Or do you think I deserved this because I was not stronger,smarter better?
Let me tell you every day I get up and dress myself is a god dammed successful day because you know what, if I could curl up die I would, in a single heartbeat. If I believed it would actually end all this I poison myself today, but I have never had that kind of luck. More Misery would be my best bet.
WHAT THE FUCK IS IT YOU WANT FROM ME!!!!!!!
I don't want to apologise for missing you, for being lost and human.
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