Moving through this maze sometimes I walk sometimes I crawl but mostly I bumble through it. Each turn reveals new emotions , hopes, defects, strengths or fears. Where did these parts of me exist before now ? Did the mundane of life really distract me so adequately or I have I been to these places before and run away. I wish I could go back and rewrite it all . Say things I should have said, unsay the words I didn't mean, why didn't I treasure all those moments, saying no when I should have screamed yes. Laid in bed all morning when the cleaning could have waited. Why didn't I cling on tight rather then allowing time slip through my fingers.
I can't seem to find my way through this mess, just when I thing I am on the right path I will swing to a new direction and am lost again. As I reach out today the world feels cold and prickly as though the message is to stay still no forward no back just be here. Where is my GPS for this time in my life. If this is a rabbit hole then wonderland is the wrong name.
Here I am again lost and lonely in this emotion
I see there is light and I have faith that is there, I just cant seem to find it
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