What are the words to convey: ache, agonize, be broken, brokenhearted, sad, bewail, bemoan, blubber, moan, cry, sorrow, grieve, regret, guilt ,loss, lost, alone, fret, hurt, wear black, weep, endure,wait, miss, long for, crushed, fear, injured, lament, drown, rail against, abandoned, left, blame, depressed, pine for, anger, wail, scream, isolate, complain, suffer, sink, damaged, confused, suffocate, blackness, dark, dreamless, nightmare, peel away, raw, questioning, unjust, cruel, mean, horrid, terror.
Do these help, maybe for the blog but to articulate no not really but maybe it is a start I guess.
I feel alone so alone I cant connect with G . I Google , I ask, I pray, I beg, I plead, I consider going to a medium, I watch John Edwards (for the first time) and the Ghost Whisper (not for the 1st time). I read, study look to places I have never gone to before and return to places I have long ago discarded but nothing works. I consider will pharmaceutical or alcohol help me get there. Where is that to a place that I can turn to G again, to find solace only he can bring, back to the grounding he bought to my life, the laughter he imbued in my world. His warm chest. His voice so masculine and gravelly please just one more time. I would give all that I have and all the I am today for just one more hour.
The dictionary states to mourn or grieve is to be sadden by a loss. So if oxford can't explain it with adequateness's why should I try ? And anyway can you hear it ?
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